No greater love

My Mommy wanted to butt into one of my blog posts so I told her she could... this if from her.

I miss my daughter. I haven't been able to hold her, change her poopy diaper, attempt to feed her while she sticks her feet in her mouth, play peek-a-boo with her in the bath tub, or anything for approximately the last 37 hours and 18 minutes.

Wednesday night I held Sophia has she drifted off to sleep. This is my favorite time of the day, just sitting with her and holding her while she takes her last bottle of the day and drifts off to dreamland. Before she falls asleep she will just lay there staring up at you with her big, beautiful brown eyes. They melt my heart more than words can say. Every once in awhile, sometimes when I'm not even paying attention she will let out the cutest little laugh. Through her pacifier you can see her smile. I look down at her and ask her what is so funny. She just smiles and lets out another laugh. I smile back... I wonder what she is thinking. She will do this a few times out of nowhere before she turns on her side a little, cuddles with her blanket and pushes it up against her face, and closes her sweet little eyes. Time for bed. I put her in her crib and told her I loved her. When I leave for work in the mornings she is still sleeping so I miss seeing her wake up all happy and smiling. Brian always tells me though how cute she looks in the morning, as she always does. By the time we got home last night it was after 9pm and Sophia was already sleeping. She looked so cute laying in her crib, so innocent and peaceful. I leaned over the railing and kissed her goodnight. I woke up this morning and again, she was still sleeping. I left for work, and that is where I am now.

I never thought I would be this sad. I think I've been in tears about 3 times already this morning just thinking of Sophia. Words can't explain the bond between a mother and child. I never thought I could love something so much in this world. I never really understood what it meant to be a parent and have this little human being that looks up to you for everything. For 9 months it was just her and I. Everything that I did was for her... she ate what I ate. My food nourished her. Everything that I did was for her, to keep her healthy and growing. I wouldn't take back our times for anything. Then she was born and it became the 4 of us. Mom, Dad, and 2 sisters. There could be no greater love between any family. Sophia already looks up to her big sister and knows who she is. She smiles at her when they are playing and always has to know where she is in the room. Logan will always be the best role model for her sister.

Before Sophia was born Brian would tell me, "You don't understand." "You won't understand until you have your own child..." Well, he was right. There is nothing like having your own child. Period. No if's, and's, or but's about it. The love is unconditional. Such a deep and true love that I honestly can't even put into words. Knowing that you would do anything in this world to keep them healthy and happy. Anything.

I am so lucky to have such a happy, healthy, and beautiful baby girl. She is already growing up so fast, where has the time gone? It's been over half of a year since she blessed us with her presence into this world. She amazes me every single day and I know she will continue to do this every single day from here on. I look at her all of the time and say, "How did you get so pretty?" She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in this world. Big brown eyes, spiky hair that will stick straight up some days, cute pouty lips that I smother with kisses, and the softest little baby neck that I love to kiss and tickle. That's my baby girl.

I'm leaving work early today so I can be the one to pick her up from daycare, which I rarely get to do. I can't wait to see her big open-mouthed smile when she sees me, because I'm hoping that she will be just as excited to see her Mom. Hopefully she missed me a little bit, because I missed her more than I ever thought I could.

There really is no greater love.